


watching the time, mustn't linger behind

by laminy



Series: and the night followed day, and the story tellers say [9]
Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Epic Friendship, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Meet the Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22041172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laminy/pseuds/laminy
Summary: Joe and Rami do some research into Gwil's family, and they find someone who might actually be eager to meet him, but Gwil still needs the encouragement of an old friend. At the same time, Ben is trying to handle some family drama of his own.(mostly takes place in August 2040, following right afterand the dream of the child)
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Gwilym Lee, Rami Malek/Joe Mazzello
Series: and the night followed day, and the story tellers say [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1438129
Comments: 41
Kudos: 52





	watching the time, mustn't linger behind

After the way they ended the conversation in New York, even though he was originally enthusiastic about it, Gwil’s still unsure about meeting his family. He goes back and forth on it, sometimes multiple times a day. He lets other things distract him, or tries to anyway. He and Joe go shopping for Matthew’s birthday present, which he thinks might be something fun to do, but it ends with Gwil trying not to cry and Joe pulling him into a hug in the toy aisle. Then comes Joe’s newfound worry that Rami suddenly doesn’t want children. It’s certainly a distraction, to say the least, and Gwil’s happy to help how he can, but any talk of children just makes Gwil think of his nieces and nephews. The oldest would have remembered him, certainly. He’s not sure if that’s better or worse than the youngest who would have no idea who he was.

Gwil tells himself that he’ll ask Joe for his help, finally, but then Joe and Rami go back to New York for the last time before Rami starts up uni again, and it’s not like he wants to be a bother. So even though it’s something he thinks about, a lot, it keeps getting put off. And then put off some more. Which is terrible, Gwil thinks, because this isn’t the sort of thing that’s going to get easier the longer he goes without doing it. It’s going to get harder. Their reactions and questions are going to get worse. If they had hope that Gwil was going to find them and meet them, surely that hope must be gone by now. It’s been almost a year-and-a-half since the Mercury returned. Now Gwil won’t just have to explain why he left, he’ll have to have an explanation about why he didn’t speak to them. He’s not sure which one is going to be easier.

Ben is curled up on Rami and Joe’s sofa, Augie resting beside him, his feet on Gwil’s lap. They’re cat-sitting Augie while Rami and Joe are away, just staying in the spare bedroom again, which even though Gwil has his own flat and he knows that it’ll be a nursery in a couple years or so, he still likes to think of it as his room.

Gwil looks down at his watch when a notification goes off, and groans, pushing at Ben’s feet. “Come on, love.”

Ben looks over at him and whines. “No, why?” he asks.

Gwil smiles. “Because Joe’ll have our heads if we’re not there to meet them, come on.”

“But I’m so comfy here,” Ben says, softly petting Augie. “Can’t you go without me?”

“Sure,” Gwil says. “I don’t mind meeting them alone.” He pushes at Ben’s feet again and then stands up, walking away.

“Wait, what?” Ben asks, pushing himself up. “I was just joking.”

“Well, come on then!” Gwil says. “We’ve got to go.”

Ben whines again, but then stands up anyway. “I’m sorry, Augie,” he says softly, “we’ve got to go. But your dads will be back soon. Isn’t that lovely?”

They take the tube to Victoria Station, and then the express to Gatwick Airport, going to the arrivals section. Gwil checks the news on his phone as they wait, then smiles over at Ben, who keeps looking at the arrivals board, watching for Rami and Joe’s flight. “Are you alright?” Gwil asks.

Ben looks over at Gwil, and then nods. “Yes,” he says, “just excited to see them.”

Gwil smiles and wraps his arm around Ben’s shoulders, pulling him in. “You missed Joe?” he murmurs, pressing a kiss to Ben’s temple, and Ben laughs.

“I always do,” he says. “Against my better judgement.”

They hear Joe before they see him, which Joe immediately points out. “Stop kissing!” he exclaims, hurrying over to them. “Focus on me now!” He pulls Gwil down into a hug, squeezing him tightly. “Hey, big guy.”

“Hi Joe,” Gwil says, patting his back a couple times.

“How are you?” Joe asks, pulling back, and Gwil just smiles.

“Alright, thank you.”

“Hi,” Rami says, giving Ben a hug and a kiss on the cheek before moving over to Gwil, who leans down, picking him up a bit as he squeezes him tightly. “God, Gwil!” Rami protests, and Gwil laughs a bit before putting Rami back down. 

“Good flight?” Gwil asks.

“Terrible as usual, thank you,” Rami says. “How are you?”

Gwil smiles at him. “Better now.”

They get Rami and Joe’s luggage, and then head back to the train. Gwil and Rami sit next to each other, and Ben and Joe sit together in the row in front of them, so even though Rami is talking to Gwil, Gwil can hear everything Joe is saying.

“And I swear,” Joe says, “I know we saw them like, a month ago, but it’s like they’ve gotten bigger. How have they gotten bigger?”

Ben laughs softly, and shrugs. “I don’t know, Joe. Kids grow, it’s what they do.”

“Yeah, but they’re not supposed to do it when I’m gone,” Joe whines. “I miss them.”

Gwil sits there, looking at the photos on Rami’s phone, but he’s not really paying attention to what Rami is saying. He just gets that familiar twisting in his stomach, the ones that he recognizes now as guilt and fear and sadness, and maybe even anger, all rolled into one.

“They were so surprised to see me again so soon,” Joe continues, “but they were so happy! It was all like, Uncle Joe, Uncle Rami! We missed you!” Joe turns, looking between the gap in their seats. “They asked about you too, Gwil, don’t worry.”

“Oh,” Gwil says, looking up at him, blinking a couple times. “That’s— right, that’s lovely.”

“What about me?” Ben asks.

“I think Leah has a _bit_ of a crush,” Joe says, turning back to him, “but you know, she gets it.”

“Which part?” Ben asks. “The age difference, or the me not fancying girls?”

“Uh, both, I think,” Joe says. He turns back to Gwil and Rami again, grinning at them. “Happy to have me back?” he asks.

Gwil takes a second to respond, before he slowly smiles, nodding, and he can see it on Joe’s face that he knows something’s up. He doesn’t say anything though, for which Gwil is grateful, and then Joe just turns back to Ben.

\+ + + + +

“Augie!” Rami says, hurrying into the living room, kneeling down and holding his hand out to Augie who walks over, sniffing his fingers before pushing his head against Rami’s palm. “Hi, Augie,” he says softly, reaching down to pick him up.

Joe and Ben take the suitcases upstairs, and Gwil just sits down on the sofa, watching Rami pet Augie’s head. 

Rami looks up, smiling over at him, and then he seems to realize whatever Joe realized on the train, and his smile fades a bit. Before he can say anything, Ben and Joe come walking back down the stairs, Joe carrying a couple bags.

“Gather ‘round, children,” Joe says, “I come bearing—”

“ _We_ come bearing—” Rami starts.

“Gifts!” Joe finishes. He drops down on the sofa next to Gwil, and smiles up at him. “Hey big guy, you good?” Gwil just nods, and Joe looks over at Ben, who sits down on the floor next to Rami, reaching out to play with Augie. “Okay, so first up, here you go.” He reaches into the bag and hands one small gift over to Gwil, and then another over to Ben, grinning.

“Joe,” Rami says.

“What, they’re great!” Joe says. “Practice safe sex.” He reaches out, tapping on the condom in Gwil’s hand. “I got one that says _bisexuals do it better_.”

“Oh,” Gwil says, looking up at him, “uh, cheers.” The wrapper of his has a baseball glove on it, and the words _no glove, no love_.

“ _You’re my favourite thing to do_ ,” Ben reads from the wrapper of his, then looks up at Joe. “Uh, thanks, mate.”

“Fine, joking,” Joe says. “Come on guys, they’re just cute— ugh, whatever.” He reaches into the bag. “Gwil, for you,” he says, handing him a Yankees hat. “Since you said you wanted one last time.”

“Thank you,” Gwil says, smiling down at the hat, before putting it on, looking around at the others proudly.

Joe hands Ben a New York umbrella, and Ben smiles, turning it over in his hands. “Thank you,” Ben says. “But you didn't need to get us anything.”

“Oh, but there’s more,” Joe says.

Rami smiles, looking at Ben and Gwil, and then Joe reaches into the bag, taking out one folder for Ben, and one for Gwil.

“What’s this?” Ben asks, opening it, loose papers inside starting to slide out.

“They’re drawings,” Rami says. “The children did them, they just spent so much time on them, and I asked them who they were for, and they…didn’t know, so they said that you and Gwil could have them. Since you couldn’t make it this time.”

Ben smiles faintly, looking at one picture that’s mostly just scribbles, assuming it belongs to Noah. “I love them, thank you.”

Gwil sniffles, and all three of them look up at him. His hands tremble a bit as he goes through the drawings, and Rami sets Augie down to reach out to him.

“I’m sorry, Gwil,” Rami says. “I wasn’t thinking, I thought it’d be sweet, I—”

“It is,” Gwil says, looking up at him. “No, this is lovely, thank you.”

“Gwil,” Ben says softly.

Gwil just shakes his head, reaching up to wipe at his face. “I’ll have to get them framed, I think,” he says. “I— they’re lovely. Thank you.” He holds up one of the drawings to them, smiling. “Put this in my living room, I think.”

“We shouldn’t have…” Joe says softly, but Gwil shakes his head again.

“No, it’s alright,” Gwil says. “I love them.” The other three are awkwardly silent, watching Gwil go through the drawings, tears running down his face, until Ben says his name again. “I’m fine, love,” Gwil says, looking up at him. “Don’t worry about me. I’m— I’m happy.” He sniffles. “Why shouldn’t I be?”

Joe, Rami, and Ben all share an uncomfortable look, and then Gwil reaches up, taking off his baseball hat, pushing his fingers through his hair. “Thank you,” Gwil says again. “Uh, I’d— I’ll make us something to eat. A welcome home lunch. How’s that?” He stands up, leaving the hat and the drawings behind on the sofa, and Ben sighs, reaching up to rub at his face.

“I’m really sorry,” Joe says quickly, looking at Ben. “I— I thought he liked them, and the kids were more than happy to—”

“He does like them, Joe,” Ben says softly, bringing his knees up to his chest. “Just…” He groans softly. “Fuck.”

“Did he talk about it at all when we were gone?” Rami asks.

Ben shakes his head. “No,” he says. “He— we didn’t talk about it. I don’t know if he’s avoiding it or just…it didn’t come up, but I don’t know.” Joe nods a couple times, and looks over at Rami who just shrugs. Ben frowns, looking back and forth at them. “What?” he asks.

“Nothing,” Joe says.

“Joe,” Ben says. “What?”

“Nothing,” Joe says again. “Just—”

“We…” Rami starts and then trails off, sighing. “When we were free. We…did some research.”

“Just on the planes, and stuff,” Joe says. “Layovers.”

“Please don’t,” Ben says. He sighs. “You found his family.”

“Well, sort of—” Rami starts at the same that Joe says “aren’t _we_ his family?”

Ben sighs again, shaking his head.

“There’s something he needs to know,” Rami says.

Ben looks at him. “Please don’t tell me,” he says.

“Why not?” Rami asks.

“Because if you tell me then I’ll have to tell him, and I don’t know if he’s ready for it,” Ben says. “I…fuck. Okay.” He sighs. “I don’t know. How were you guys planning on telling him?”

Joe shrugs. “Uh, honestly, we were just gonna…show him. On my laptop.”

“We just want to help,” Rami says.

“I know that,” Ben says. “I just…he told me, he’s…scared. That— I mean, I don’t know if it’s an excuse or not, but when we were in New York, he said he’s worried he’ll meet them and invite someone into our lives who will hurt us.” He shrugs. “I don’t know. He might just be making an excuse to not have to meet them.” He puts his thumb up to his mouth as he thinks. 

Joe sighs. “Is anyone going to go talk to him?” he asks.

“He probably wants to be alone,” Rami says.

“That doesn’t mean he should be,” Joe says. He looks at Ben and Rami, and gives a quick nod. “I’m going in.”

“Joe,” Ben says.

“Oh come on,” Joe says, pushing himself up. “He’s my friend, we’re friends, I’m just going to go talk to him. God.” He walks into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe for a second before he waves and says Gwil’s name. “Anything I can help with, big guy?” he asks, walking into the kitchen.

Gwil shakes his head. “I’m just…” He gestures towards the food on the counter.

“Could we talk?” Joe asks. “Just— while you’re cooking. I don’t want to take you away from it.”

“Sure,” Gwil says softly.

“Uh, so,” Joe says, “I don’t know how much you know about like…” He waves his hand. “You know.”

“No, I don’t,” Gwil says.

“The Internet,” Joe says. Gwil narrows his eyes at him. “I mean, I know you know what the Internet is, I’ve seen you use it. But like, the sorts of stuff you can find on there. You know.” Gwil just looks at Joe, and Joe swallows hard. “I found your family.”

“You— _what_?” Gwil asks.

Joe sighs. “I— Rami and I. While we were away. Not all of them, but— we started looking. And we thought that you’d…ask, at some point. And then we’d already have it.” He swallows hard. “I’m realizing now though that…you might think this is similar to Ben reading your letters, and that you might actually be super pissed off at me right now.” He hesitantly shifts a couple inches back, looking at Gwil.

“Did you—” Gwil blows out a breath, shaking his head, fingers curling into fists as he tries to calm himself down. “Did you…call them?”

“What?” Joe asks. “No! No way, that’s— no. I just…I figured— ugh, okay. No. We didn’t contact them, I would _never_ do that without your permission. I mean, hell, Rami asked you if it was okay before we talked to Felix, I would never just call up your—”

Gwil looks at him. “My what?” he asks. “Who did you find?”

“Uh, your…” Joe looks up at the ceiling, trying to think. “Great-great… _great_ , uh, grand-niece? But don’t quote me on that. But I think, yeah.” He looks at Gwil. “She’s— well, no. I won’t say anything, I don’t want— if and when you’re ready, then I will tell you. I don’t want to tell you anything now, that you don’t want to hear.”

Gwil nods, and then looks away, frowning a bit. He blows out a breath and then swallows hard, looking back at Joe. “I— I’m not angry,” he says. “Not at you. Or Rami. I— I’m sorry that you…that you’re afraid of me.”

“Oh, no,” Joe says, and he walks over to Gwil, wrapping an arm around his waist, pulling him in. “I just…I— oh, I— we thought it was a good idea.”

“I know,” Gwil says softly, and he rubs Joe’s back couple times. “You’re just trying to help.” He pulls back a bit. “How did you find them?”

“Rami knew your siblings' names, obviously,” Joe says. “And pretty good guesses about when they were born. And he knew— I think most of your nieces and nephews.”

“I think I forgot a couple,” Rami says suddenly from the doorway, “but I tried.” Gwil and Joe look over at him in surprise, seeing Ben standing beside him as well. “But to be fair, you have so many.”

Gwil looks at Rami for a moment, and then smiles, nodding. “I do, yes. Enough for a baseball team.” Rami and Joe look at each other, and Ben and Gwil both frown. “What—” Gwil shakes his head. “No, I— I don’t want bad news.”

“Gwil,” Rami says, but Gwil just shakes his head.

“No,” Gwil says again, “I can’t. I— if— if you tell me that one of them died young, too young, I— no. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know any of it.”

“They didn’t,” Rami says. “You— you had six nieces, four nephews. None of them died young.” 

“That’s not…” Gwil shakes his head. “I only had three nephews,” he says.

“No,” Rami says. “That was…when we left. Afterwards, there was one more.”

“That I never met,” Gwil says softly, shaking his head. “I…that’s…” He sniffles. “Who— who had him?”

“Rhiannon,” Rami says. “After the war. After the letters ended.”

“Oh,” Gwil says, letting out a shaky breath. “Uh. Oh.” He turns away, leaning against the counter, taking a deep breath.

“Do you want to know his name?” Joe asks gently, reaching out to Gwil’s shoulder.

“I don’t know,” Gwil says softly.

“I do,” Ben says suddenly, and Gwil looks back at him. “For me, can they…can they tell me?”

Gwil looks at Ben, and then finally nods. “Ye— yes. You should— you know, they’re…they're really sort of like your family too.”

Ben nods, and then looks at Rami, who swallows hard. “They named him Gwil,” Rami says, and tears fill Ben’s eyes. Rami looks over at Gwil, who has tears running down his face as well. “Isn’t that lovely? Two people named their children after you. It just shows how loved you were.” Gwil nods, but doesn’t say anything. “You always were Rhiannon’s favourite,” Rami continues, and Gwil has to laugh at that, nodding. “That just proves it.”

“It does, yeah,” Gwil says, voice breaking. He looks over at Ben, who’s watching him back. “Ten nieces and nephews, love,” he says.

Ben nods, reaching up to quickly wipe at his eyes. “I know,” he says, “that’s…too many for me, I think. Wouldn’t be able to keep them all straight.”

“Oh, no,” Gwil says, shaking his head a bit, “you would. You would’ve loved them. They were…they were all so sweet.” He thinks to himself, smiling faintly, before he just shakes his head again and turns back to the food he was preparing. “I just need more time to think, is all,” he says.

“Okay,” Joe says, stepping back a bit. “That’s— yeah, no, that’s— they’re not going anywhere, you’re not going anywhere. There’s no pressure.”

“Right,” Gwil says, and the tone in his voice says he’s not entirely sure he actually believes that.

“Let me help,” Rami says, walking into the kitchen. “Joe and Ben need to catch up, best mates and all that.”

Joe nods and walks towards Ben, giving him a half-smile. “Let’s go, Benny,” he says softly, and they walk back out towards the living room, Ben keeping his eyes on Gwil as long as he can.

Rami smiles and pulls Gwil into a hug. “I missed you,” he murmurs.

Gwil nods, squeezing Rami tightly. “I missed you too,” he says. “I always do.”

\+ + + + +

“You can stay, though,” Rami says softly, watching as Gwil puts on his shoes.

“I know,” Gwil says.

“Then why won’t you?” Rami asks. “Just for tonight, please? The four of us, I— please.”

“I’ll be back over tomorrow,” Gwil says.

Ben just shifts on his feet next to Joe, wishing that he could speak up and get Gwil to change his mind, but he knows that Gwil is not in the mood for it. He’s not even sure that he and Gwil are going back to the same flat tonight; he has no idea what Gwil is thinking. He was quiet through lunch and most of the afternoon, seeming to cheer up a bit around the time Joe ordered takeaway for supper, but…Rami’s asked him to stay several times now, and Gwil still refuses.

“How about brunch?” Gwil asks, and Rami just nods, glancing over at Ben and Joe. “Alright, love, if you’re ready.”

Ben just nods and Joe pats him on the back a couple times, and then Rami gives him a quick hug. “Goodnight,” he says to them both, giving them a wave, following Gwil out of the flat. They head out into the night, and Ben just walks alongside Gwil, still not sure if they’re splitting up or Gwil’s coming to his place or what. He looks down in surprise when Gwil takes his hand, and he looks up to see him giving him a smile. 

“Your place?” Gwil asks, and Ben just nods. “You’re— angry with me, I suppose,” he says.

“What? No,” Ben says quickly. “I— no. Of course not.”

“Right,” Gwil says softly.

“I’m not,” Ben says, squeezing Gwil’s hand. “I— I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve been _actually_ angry with you, which might surprise you. I— I don’t know that I understand where you’re coming from but I’m certainly not angry about it.” They finish the walk to Ben’s flat in silence, and they both take off their shoes, and Ben locks the door behind them.

Gwil walks around a bit, before sitting down on Ben’s sofa. Ben looks at him for a moment, and then walks over, sitting down next to him. “Please don’t shut me out,” Ben whispers, resting his forehead against Gwil.

“I know, love,” Gwil says, and Ben pulls back a bit. “I’m sorry.”

“You can tell me anything,” Ben says. “Any of it, all of it. I want to listen.”

“I know,” Gwil says, “but I hate that I— that there’s still— you…shouldn’t have to listen.”

“What?” Ben asks.

“I should be fine,” Gwil says. “There’s nothing— I’m in therapy, I have you, I have Joe and Rami, I— I shouldn’t be so scared anymore.”

“That’s what it is?” Ben asks. “You’re still scared they’ll hurt us?”

Gwil sighs, shaking his head. “Not really, no.”

“Then what?” Ben asks.

“I’m scared they’ll— tell me the truth,” Gwil says.

“But what's the truth?”

“That they hate me,” Gwil says. “I…I can’t stop thinking about how sad my mam was when I left. I think I disappointed her in a lot of ways, and—” His voice breaks a bit, and he squeezes his eyes shut. 

“Your mum loved you,” Ben says, “I know she did. I read those letters, Gwil. You were everything to her. You were her baby.”

Gwil nods, pushing his glasses up so that he can wipe at his eyes. “I think it’s just— god, I don’t know. I can’t talk to those people. They’ll want to know why I left, they’ll want to know if it was worth it, they’ll ask me things I don’t know the answer to.” He sniffles loudly. “I just don’t know what to say to them.” He looks at Ben, hot tears spilling over his cheeks. “I thought I was ready, but,” he sniffles again, “I don’t know if I am.”

“That’s okay,” Ben says, “that’s alright. You— you don’t have to be. There’s still time.”

“But it’s already been over a year,” Gwil says, shaking his head. “I— Felix is still alive,” he says.

Ben looks at Gwil, confused. “Yeah?” he asks.

“So,” Gwil says, “what if…maybe one of them was still alive. What if I could have seen— a person I _knew_ , a person I’d held, and loved…and then they died, waiting for me to call.”

Tears fill Ben’s eyes, and he takes a shaky breath. “I don’t…they would’ve been over a hundred years old, Gwil. I— it’s…possible, yes, but.” He shakes his head. “Unlikely.”

Gwil takes a deep breath, shaking his head. “I just, I wanted…all I ever wanted was to do right by my family. I wanted to help. I wanted to be more than a deviant, I wanted people at the church to stop asking my mam when I was going to settle down with a nice girl, I wanted them to—” His voice breaks and his shoulders shake as he cries heavily. “I thought I’d do it, and it would help somebody, and it would be _different_ when I came back.” He shakes his head, sniffling and wiping at his face. “I didn’t help anyone. They— I left for nothing. Britain won. They didn’t need us.”

Ben watches Gwil, sniffling gently, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. “You never said all that,” he says after a few moments, voice rough.

“I’m just scared,” Gwil says, “that my parents were angry with me. And my brothers and Rhiannon. I’m scared my nieces and nephews hated me for leaving. And I’m scared that those people, my family, or whatever, that they’ll— they’ll be just as angry with me now.” He sniffles loudly, shaking his head. “It’s just stupid,” he mutters.

“It’s not,” Ben says softly. “It never is.” He snuggles against Gwil, moving onto his lap. “Why didn’t you tell me that bit before, about your mum and the people at church?”

Gwil just shakes his head. “It’s just…it— it’s not like it is now, love,” he says. “I don’t know. Honestly, most of the time, I don’t ever think of it, I don’t…for awhile, my parents used to tell them I was dating a girl, and then they’d come up with some story about why it ended and I just—”

“No, it’s alright,” Ben says, “I’m sorry.” He shifts on Gwil’s lap, reaching out to wipe at Gwil’s cheeks. “What would you tell me?” he asks.

Gwil frowns a bit, looking confused. “What?” he asks.

“No,” Ben says, thinking a bit, “wait: what did you tell Rami?” He smiles faintly. “God, that was forever ago now, wasn’t it?” Gwil nods. “I’m sure you said something smart, about how his family loved him and was going to be so chuffed to meet him. That sounds like you.”

Gwil has to laugh softly, sniffling. “I— yeah, that sounds about right,” he says. “I told him it’d be fine.”

“So,” Ben says, “if Rami didn’t do anything wrong, neither did you. God knows the idea of traveling all around the UK or god knows where to have tea with a bunch of strangers isn’t _my_ idea of fun either—” Gwil chuckles again at that. “But I want to know. I want to know your family.” He sighs, settling against Gwil. “All ten of them,” he says. “God, that’s ridiculous,” he murmurs, and Gwil laughs. Ben smiles back, and then moves to climb off Gwil’s lap, but Gwil just grabs at his waist, pulling him back in. “Gwil,” Ben protests, laughing loudly.

“No, stay,” Gwil says, wrapping his arms around Ben’s waist, holding him close.

“Gwil,” Ben whines, wiggling a bit, but Gwil just keeps holding onto him. “Come on, let me go,” he says.

“Never,” Gwil murmurs, leaning in to press a kiss to Ben’s neck, and Ben finally settles back down, resting against Gwil. They sit there for awhile, just quietly taking each other in, Ben resting his head against Gwil’s shoulder.

“I’m going to fall asleep,” Ben murmurs to Gwil, and Gwil nods, rubbing Ben’s back.

“Let’s go to bed, love,” Gwil says, and Ben groans, but rolls off Gwil’s lap, letting him stand up first. Then Gwil takes Ben’s hand, tugging him to his feet. They get ready, and then Gwil and Ben climb into bed together. Gwil pulls Ben in towards him, and Ben settles on his lap, snuggling against him as they kiss. “I love you,” Gwil says softly, and Ben nods.

“I love you too,” he whispers, and they kiss for a bit longer before Ben can barely keep himself awake, and he drops down onto the mattress. He rests against Gwil’s chest, yawning. “Gwil?” he murmurs.

“Yes, love?” Gwil asks, settling into the bed, taking a deep breath.

“They were just trying to help,” Ben says. 

“I know,” Gwil says.

Ben yawns again. “Are you going to meet them?” he asks. Gwil doesn’t say anything, and Ben opens his eyes, pushing himself up a bit.

“I don’t know,” Gwil says. “I— I don’t know yet.”

“Okay,” Ben says. He yawns loudly, and then he snuggles back against him, slowly drifting off. Gwil quietly rests, not wanting to disturb Ben, but it takes him a lot longer to fall asleep. He’s still awake, hours later, thinking about his family.

\+ + + + +

Gwil doesn’t bring it up the next day at brunch, and the other three take his lead, and don’t say anything about it either. They can all tell, though, that he’s distracted. When they speak to him, they have to say his name more than once to get his attention; he doesn’t engage in the conversation with them like he usually does. He mostly ends up looking off in another direction, while the others talk around him.

They leave the restaurant, and Rami and Ben walk ahead, Joe slowly walking alongside Gwil, who’s got his hands in his pockets, looking down at his feet.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Joe says, giving him a playful bump and a smile. Gwil looks up and smiles back, but then just shrugs.

“Just…” Gwil trails off, and Joe frowns.

“Okay,” Joe says, nodding a couple times, and Gwil sighs.

“I’m sorry, Joe, really,” Gwil says. “I— I can’t stop overthinking, I’m stuck in my own head right now.”

“Do you have any appointments coming up?” Joe asks, and Gwil nods. “Well, that’s something, right?”

“Right,” Gwil says. “I just— I want to be able to figure it out on my own, I— I _know_ what the answer is.”

“Okay,” Joe says. “Well, how about you tell me what the answer is, and I’ll just say it back to you, and you can pretend I’m your doctor, telling you something brand new.”

Gwil looks at Joe, as if he’s considering it, but doesn’t say anything.

“I am sorry, Gwil,” Joe says. “I shouldn’t have looked them up.”

“You just want to help,” Gwil says.

“But it’s not my business,” Joe says. “You get to decide when you see— _if_ you ever see your family. It’s not for us to say.”

“It’s just so stupid,” Gwil says. “I— it’s been over a year, and I’m still terrified at the idea. I— don’t know how to not be.”

“It’s not stupid,” Joe says. “You’re…scared. That’s fine. That’s life, dude.”

Rami and Ben stop walking, and turn around to look at them, obviously having been listening to them. “You know I was terrified,” Rami says. “Of the exact same thing you are. And my family’s not any better than yours, Gwil. They’re not better people, they— your family loves you as much as mine loves me. You just have to meet them. Just one. To start. And if that goes alright, then you can meet more. I just hate the idea that…well.” He looks at Ben and Joe, and then back to Gwil. “That we’re all you have, really.”

Gwil bites down on his lip at that, thinking as he nods slowly. He wants to say that he’s alright with the three of them being all he has, but he knows that’s not what they want to hear. He’s also not sure if that’s even true anymore.

“What are you thinking?” Ben asks.

Gwil looks over at him. “I— maybe,” he says. He can tell that that’s not what Ben wants to hear. “Maybe soon,” he says quickly, “I just— I think there may actually be something I need to do first.” 

“Oh,” Ben says.

“What is it?” Rami asks. “Is it anything we can help with?”

Gwil looks over at him, shaking his head. “No,” he says, “it’s— just something I think I need to do on my own, if that’s alright. It just might…help me a bit.” He’s not sure, but…there may be someone who can tell him what he needs to hear.

“Of course,” Ben says. “Whatever you need.”

“Okay,” Gwil says. He looks around, trying to give them all a smile. “Uh, where to now then?” he asks. “Joe’s back to work tomorrow—”

“Hey!” Joe protests.

“We should do something fun,” Gwil finishes. 

“Alright,” Rami says eagerly. “Let’s think where we can go!”

Gwil smiles at that, and Joe pats him on the back a couple times as they start walking again. Gwil tries to listen to the conversation, but he finds his mind drifting off again, thinking of something— _someone_ else. The other person he can talk to. Maybe the closest person to family he has, outside of these three.

\+ + + + +

Gwil walks slowly alongside Felix, one hand out, ready to steady him or help him at any moment. The path is smooth, and Felix has his walker, but Gwil still doesn’t want to risk it. Felix keeps waving him off, assuring Gwil that he’s fine.

“You’re looking well, Felix,” Gwil says.

“I’ve looked better,” Felix says, and Gwil laughs.

“Well, that may be true,” Gwil says, “but you look well now.”

“I tell my doctors, do whatever you can for me, I’ve got a wedding to go to next year!” Felix looks at Gwil with a smile, and Gwil laughs in surprise.

“Don’t say that,” he says, “of course you’ll make it.” Gwil shakes his head, amused. “You didn’t last this long to _not_ see Rami get married. You’re as healthy as a horse.”

“I’ve never been much for weddings,” Felix continues, “but Rami’s…I think that’s one I’d like to see.”

“It’ll be lovely,” Gwil says.

“And yours,” Felix says. “Though, I’m not sure I’ll last _that_ long.”

Gwil laughs again. “Uh…well— maybe not, Felix, no.”

“Well, what’s wrong you?” Felix asks, and Gwil briefly closes his eyes. There’s something in that response that’s just so Roger, he can’t believe it. He doesn’t know if he should cry or laugh, so he just takes a moment to himself, and then he opens his eyes and shakes his head. 

“Not sure,” Gwil says. Though he imagines his doctor’s got a list. Joe too, probably.

“Is there something wrong with Ben?” Felix asks.

“No, Felix, not a thing,” Gwil says. “He’s perfect.”

“Exactly,” Felix says. 

“But marriage is…we’re not there yet,” Gwil says.

Felix makes a dismissive noise. “Nobody’s ever there, you just do it.”

Gwil smiles. “Well, alright, but we’ve only been together less than a year.”

Felix waves him off. “How long do you think my parents knew each other? Not that long.”

“No,” Gwil says softly. He frowns a bit, his feelings about Dominique and Roger still conflicted sometimes.

Felix seems to understand, so he gives Gwil a couple moments before speaking again. “Well, how is Ben then?” he asks.

Gwil looks up, smiling at that. “He’s— he’s very well, thank you. Enjoying his time off.”

“Yes?” Felix asks. Gwil nods. “Well, good. He’s a smart lad, that one. Knew it the moment I met him.”

“He is,” Gwil says softly. “He’s applying to uni, actually. He’ll start next year.”

“Oh, really?” Felix asks. “Well, good for him. Already a lawyer and all that. Don’t know what else he thinks he can do.”

“Anything,” Gwil says automatically, and Felix looks over at him, laughing softly. 

“Is that so?” he asks, and Gwil nods.

“He can do anything,” he says again, firmly.

“Good,” Felix says softly. “That’s good. You know I…I know my dad would have liked him.”

“Thank you,” Gwil says. “I like to think so too.”

“But he’d be even happier for you,” Felix continues. “I know I’ve said that before, and I still mean it. My parents were in love. My dad was happy. He wanted that for you too.”

Gwil bites down on his lip, trying to not cry, nodding quickly. “I know that,” he says.

“Good,” Felix says. “So what’s the problem?”

“Problem?” Gwil echoes.

“Why are you here?” Felix asks.

“Oh…” Gwil says. “I just…visiting. I— it’s been awhile.”

“So why is it just you?” Felix asks.

Gwil sighs. “You know, for someone who’s known me less than a year, you somehow know me too well.”

“I’m dying, Gwil,” Felix says.

“No, you’re not,” Gwil says.

“Everyone my age is dying,” Felix says. “And once you get to be my age, you try to pick up the pace a bit. So tell me what’s wrong.”

Gwil sighs again, kicking at a small pebble in front of him. “The others, they— they want me to meet my family.”

“Alright,” Felix says. “So meet them.”

“It’s not that simple,” Gwil says.

“Why not?” Felix asks. “You find a name in the phonebook, go out for tea, there you go. You could do it today.”

“Yes, but I’m scared,” Gwil says.

“Of what?” Felix asks. “You went to bloody space and back, and you’re terrified of meeting a few distant relatives?”

Gwil just shakes his head a bit. He knew this was coming; he didn’t come to see Felix for some polite conversation. He wanted someone to tell him how stupid he’s being. Someone other than his mates. That’s what he needs; in the same way Ben needs someone to assure him of his intelligence, and his worth, Gwil just needs a kick in the arse sometimes. “I’m scared they’ll hate me.”

“Of course you are,” Felix says.

Gwil frowns. “What?”

“Well, that’s why you’re here, isn’t it?” Felix asks. “Because you want me to tell you _I_ never hated you. That Dad never hated you. Isn’t that it?”

Gwil looks at him for a moment, surprised that Felix’s caught on so soon, and then nods. “Yes,” he admits, “it is.”

“Right,” Felix says. “You went away, tried to do something _real_ to help your family, and now you come back and you won’t even talk to them.”

“I know, Felix.”

“And what about Rami’s family, the— well, whoever, I don’t know them,” Felix continues. “But they don’t hate him, do they?”

Gwil shakes his head. “No, they don’t,” he says. “They love him.”

“And what,” Felix says, “you’re so unloveable?”

Gwil blinks a couple times, looking away. He doesn’t want to say anything; he can feel it, he’s maybe three seconds away from crying if he talks now. That’s what he’d been so afraid of, for so long. Hell, that’s why he joined the Mercury II and moved to Cologne. That’s why he couldn’t believe that Rami would still choose to be his friend, after everything he’d done, and Felix has hit the nail on the head. He just takes a couple deep breaths, shoving his hands in his pockets as he thinks.

Felix looks at him, and sighs, but doesn’t say anything, and they keep just slowly walking down the park path. 

“No,” Gwil says after a long stretch of silence. “I’m not.”

Felix smiles over at him, and reaches out with a shaky hand, patting Gwil on the arm a couple times. “No,” he says, “you’re not.”

Gwil gives him a thankful smile. “They’ve— Rami and Joe, they’ve already found my family for me.”

“They have now?” Felix asks. “Well then, I really don’t know what you’re worried about. You don’t even have to do any of the work!”

“I know,” Gwil says. “My great-great-great-grand-niece.”

“Goodness,” Felix says. “That’s…well, what’s she like?”

“I don’t know anything about her,” Gwil says. “I didn’t ask.”

“What’s her name?” Felix asks, and Gwil just shrugs with a guilty look on his face. “You know, when _I_ forget names, I have an excuse.”

“I didn’t forget,” Gwil says softly.

“No, you just didn’t ask,” Felix says, and Gwil nods. “I don’t understand it, Gwil! I just don’t.”

“I know,” Gwil says softly. They walk a bit longer, and Gwil looks over at him. “Felix?” 

“Hmm?”

“Was it hard for you to meet me?” Gwil asks, voice wavering a bit.

“No,” Felix says, shaking his head. “It was my pleasure.”

“Okay,” Gwil says softly, and he blinks a couple times, tears springing to his eyes. “Thank you.”

“Was it hard for you to meet me?” Felix asks, and Gwil laughs a bit in surprise, nodding quickly as he wipes at his eyes.

“God yes,” Gwil says, “I—” He sniffles, and laughs again. “I— I never would’ve done it, if it weren’t for Rami. I was terrified then, too. I— that you’d hate me.”

“No, no, never hate you,” Felix says softly. He gently clears his throat and sniffles, and when he looks over at Gwil again, he can see that Felix’s eyes are shining bright with tears. “I tell all my neighbours about you. God, do I ever. They’re so jealous.”

Gwil laughs again. “Of what?” he asks.

“I know celebrities!” Felix says. “Two of the Mercury Twenty! Who else can say that, not many people! And on top of that, my dad shagged one of them!”

“Alright, Felix,” Gwil mutters, looking around the park.

“I don’t think anyone else can say that,” Felix says. “Well…maybe. But not many!”

Gwil laughs, shaking his head. “You— you really didn’t? Hate me, I mean?”

“What’s to hate?” Felix asks. “You’re not the only one who went off to war. I grew up with loads of kids whose uncles, or— their fathers, they didn’t come home. Nobody hated them. You miss them, but…you made a sacrifice.” He looks over at Gwil. “If you meet someone who hates you for trying to save your family, they’re not worth it. I won’t be having it.”

Gwil reaches out, gently squeezing Felix’s shoulder. “Thank you for today, Felix. For talking with me.”

“Oh, of course,” Felix says. “Anytime, Uncle Gwil.”

Gwil smiles at that, patting Felix on the shoulder a couple times before dropping his hand back to his side. 

They continue walking, chatting quietly about Rami and Joe and Ben. “And Rami, goodness me. When he starts his courses, I’d like to have him over,” Felix says, nodding. “All of you, of course. I’d just like to hear about what he’s learning. Engineering. So interesting, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Gwil agrees. “I’ll let him know.”

“Good,” Felix says. “And when you meet your niece?”

Gwil swallows hard, and then nods a couple times. “I’ll let you know,” he says softly.

Felix smiles at him. “You’re not lying to me?” Gwil shakes his head. “A poor old man, and you’re just hoping that I forget.”

“Of course not, Felix,” Gwil says. “I— I’ll talk to her. I promise.”

Felix gives Gwil a cheeky smile, and laughs. “I know you will. You wouldn’t lie to me. I could tell, anyway. Children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, I’ve seen it all and not a thing gets by me.”

Gwil bites down on his lip, wondering if he should say what he’s thinking or not. “And when did you realize your father was gay again?” he asks, trying not to grin.

Felix stops where he’s walking, and sputters a couple of times. “Well, I— that’s— hmm, well I never.”

Gwil laughs again, and pats Felix on the back a couple times. “Come on,” he says, “I’ll let you yell at me over some tea.”

“Don’t tease an old man, Uncle Gwil,” Felix says, starting to shuffle along with his walker again.

Gwil chuckles. “I know, I’m sorry,” he says, following him back to his house.

\+ + + + +

The four of them are sitting around Rami and Joe’s dining table, Gwil and Joe sitting next to each other, Joe’s laptop open in front of them. “So, if you want,” Joe says, “we can— I can show you what I found before we found your…great-great-great—”

“You can just say my niece, Joe,” Gwil says. “That’s…that’s alright.”

“Okay,” Joe says. “Um, because we started finding stuff out about your family,” he continues, “so I can show you that. Or we can just talk about your niece!”

Gwil bites down on his lip, looking over at Ben, who gives him a comforting smile. “What’s her— what’s her name?” he asks.

“Tiwlip,” Rami says.

Gwil frowns. “Tiwlip?” he echoes. “That’s—” He sighs. “Odd,” he says softly.

“Like…tulip?” Ben asks. “Like the flower?” Gwil nods, and Ben grins. “That’s— come on, Gwil, you’ve got a niece named after a _flower_ , how perfect is that for you?”

“It is lovely, Gwil,” Rami says. “Isn’t it?”

Gwil looks around at them, and then nods. “It— I suppose, yes.”

“The man who named his cat Tiger Lily has no room to judge,” Joe says, and Rami grins. “So, your niece Tiwlip.”

“Whose— who is she related to?” Gwil asks.

“Owain,” Rami says.

“Which of his chil—”

“Oh,” Rami says, “Mabyn. She’s Mabyn’s great-great-granddaughter.” He thinks for a moment to make sure he's got the right number of greats, and then nods.

Gwil thinks for a moment, tapping his fingers on the table. “How— uh…she’s young, then. Right?”

“What do you mean?” Rami asks, glancing at Joe.

“Well, Adriana is your great-grand-niece, and she’s, what…thirty?”

“About that, yes,” Rami says, shifting in his seat.

“So, Tiwlip is…” Gwil looks around. 

“She’s thirteen,” Rami says finally, and Ben’s eyes widen, and Gwil looks at Joe and Rami. 

“She’s— I’m sorry, she’s what?” Gwil asks. “Thirteen? How did you find— why are you— thirteen? I can’t go meet a thirteen-year-old girl, they’ll think I’m a bloody _pervert_. Are you joking? Please say you’re joking.”

Joe and Rami look at each other, and Rami just shakes his head. “No, we’re— she’s thirteen.”

“Thirteen,” Gwil says again, looking at Ben. “I— I can’t go meet a child. A grown man— you want me to meet a child.”

“No,” Joe says. “A child wants to meet you.”

“What?” Gwil and Ben ask at the same time.

“We didn’t just _find_ her,” Joe says. “Or, okay, we did. Sort of. It’s hard to explain.”

“We found a news article,” Rami says. 

“About me?” Gwil asks.

Rami shakes his head. “No, about Tiwlip. Just a small thing, local. I don’t think very many people have read it. Talking about a girl who did a school project and found out what she was related to one of the Mercury Twenty.” 

“Sounds like the sort of thing that would make the news back home in Sherborne,” Ben says. Then he thinks. “She’s not…from Sherborne, is she?”

“Yes, Ben,” Joe says flatly, “during our research we’ve found out that you and Gwil are actually related. Right, and we just weren’t going to mention it.”

“Oh, shut it,” Ben says, “I was just wondering.”

“She’s from just outside Birmingham,” Rami says. “It was just an article in the local paper. She— she sort of seemed to like the idea of it. Did a presentation, all that. It mentioned her mum, Cerys. She’s about our age, a bit older.” Rami swallows. “Thought we might…send them a letter!”

“Yeah, too bad Ben _quit_ and all,” Joe says, looking over at him.

“It’s been months!” Ben exclaims.

“Right, and I’m still not over the betrayal,” Joe says.

“Or you could telephone,” Rami says. “I didn’t mind sending them the letters, but then I got so worried—”

“Really,” Joe says, smiling, “we didn’t notice.”

“A call would be quicker,” Rami says. “That’s all. Then you’d know. If they say no, we move on.”

Gwil swallows hard, drumming his fingers against the table. 

“Gwil?” Ben asks.

Gwil looks up at him. “I—” He looks at Rami. “I don’t know why I’m having so much trouble with this.”

“It’s a scary thing,” Rami says. “It’s not easy.”

“But you were so strong,” Gwil says. “You did so well, god, just right away, you met them.”

“That’s— I move fast sometimes,” Rami says, and Joe snorts, giving Ben a big grin. Ben just shakes his head, rolling his eyes.

“I just wish I was as brave as you,” Gwil says softly.

Rami smiles, reaching his hand out to Gwil. “You’re the one who had to push me up the stairs,” he says. “You’re braver than I’ll ever be.” He squeezes Gwil’s hand. “You know I’ll come with you.”

Gwil smiles. “I know you would,” he says.

Rami grins. “Of course. You’re my best mate.”

“Love?” Gwil asks, looking over at Ben.

“What?” Ben asks.

“Would you…” Gwil shrugs.

“Oh,” Ben says, “if you wanted. But— I don’t know, four grown men showing up to meet a thirteen-year-old girl, that might…uh. As someone who’s done a lot of policy work, I can see that might not look…great.”

Joe laughs. “He may have a point. Why not just you two?”

“But—”

“Joe’s right,” Ben says. “She knows she’s related to you; having someone else from the Mercury there might be nice.” Gwil thinks for a moment, and then nods. “Depending on when you go, uh, I’m happy to go to the town with you,” Ben says. “Or Joe and I can stay in Brum and you two go on to…wherever they are, again. And we’d be there if you needed us.”

“Alright,” Gwil says. “That’s…alright.” He smiles at Rami. “Do you want to meet my niece with me?” he asks.

Rami laughs and nods eagerly. “I would, absolutely.”

“Who’s going to call?” Ben asks, looking around. “I can’t, I— I wouldn’t feel comfortable, since I don’t work for the IIS anymore.”

“Well, I mean…” Joe makes a bit of a face, and then shrugs. “I could, I guess. I can say I work for the IIS, that’s not a lie. I can say I was part of the program to reintroduce the Mercury crew to the 21st century, that’s not a lie. And I can say I was doing some research and found the article.”

“All true, see?” Rami says. “Perfect.”

Joe nods a couple times, looking at Gwil. “Up to you, big guy. I’ll do it now. We can wait. Whatever you want. She’s your niece.”

Gwil look at Joe, thinking for a few moments. “I— honestly, I— if we don’t do it now, I don’t know that I ever will.”

Joe laughs softly. “You want me to find their number?” he asks.

Gwil nods hesitantly. “I— alright, yes.”

“Yes?” Joe confirms.

Gwil nods again. “Yes, I— let’s. Please.” He watches Joe start typing on his laptop, and then he pushes his chair back from the table. “I— actually, I can’t watch this part, thanks.” He walks out of the dining room, the other three looking up in surprise.

“You guys go,” Joe says. “I’m gonna call them in a couple minutes.”

“Are you sure?” Rami asks, standing up.

Joe sighs. “I mean, I am technically a communications officer, so…I guess I can make one phone call. Wait, I’m doing work without getting paid!”

Rami walks over to him, leaning down to give him a kiss. “I promise to make it up to you later on,” he says softly, kissing him again, and Joe grins.

“Okay,” Joe says, and Ben rolls his eyes, walking out of the dining room. He finds Gwil sitting on the sofa, playing with Augie while the television’s on.

“This is a big step,” Ben says.

Gwil nods. “It’s— it is,” he says. “But…”

“But?” Ben asks.

Gwil shrugs. “It’s— a bit easier, too. She’s just a child. I— she won’t have had the time to be angry at me yet. Not like someone who knew my siblings would. She won’t have heard the stories.”

“Nobody’s angry at you, Gwil,” Rami says, walking into the living room. “Not a single person in my family has ever said that to me.” He drops down on the other side of Gwil. “Now, I’m a bit worried that we’ve left Joe alone to make what could be one of the most important phone calls of your life, but that’s not my business, I guess.”

“He’ll be fine,” Gwil says. “He was so polite when he spoke to us on the radio.” He smiles at Rami.

They distract themselves with the television and Augie. At one point, Ben gets a notification on his phone, and Gwil’s about to joke and ask who it could be, since all of his mates are in the room with him, but then he sees the look on Ben’s face. Before he can say anything, Joe walks into the living room, holding his phone.

“Well?” Ben asks, fumbling to put his phone away.

Joe holds his phone out to Gwil. “It’s on mute right now,” he says. “She wants to talk to you.”

“What?” Gwil asks. “Who?”

“Tiwlip,” Joe says. “Sorry it took so long; I was talking to her mom while she was trying to track her down. She was at the neighbour’s or something, I don’t know.”

“Joe, I—” Gwil shakes his head. “I can’t talk to her.”

“Well, you can,” Joe says, “because she asked if I knew you, and I said yes, and then she asked if you were _here_ , and I said yes. So.” He shakes the phone a couple times. “You know if you plan on meeting her, you have to talk to her.”

“I’m not ready!” Gwil exclaims.

“Yes, you are,” Rami says. “Come on. Just say hello. What’s the worst that could— you know, never mind that. Just say hello.”

Gwil’s shoulders slump, and he reaches out, reluctantly taking the phone. “Hello?” he says.

“It’s on mute, Gwil,” Joe says again.

“Alright, alright,” Gwil mutters, taking the phone away from his ear, turning off mute. “Hello?” he asks again.

“Hi. Is this Gwilym Lee?”

Gwil swallows hard, looking around. “Uh, yes, this is him. Just— Gwil’s fine, though.”

“Hi Gwil, I’m Tiwlip.”

Gwil blinks a couple times, fingers clenching at the phone. “Hi Tiwlip,” he says softly. “How are you?”

Rami grins widely, and reaches over, hitting Gwil on the leg excitedly.

“Are you _really_ Gwilym Lee? My uncle?”

Gwil chuckles. “Uh, yes, I am. That’s— well, I am definitely Gwilym Lee, and my mates have done the research, and said that I’m your uncle.”

“From Sutton Coldfield?”

“Yes,” Gwil says, “but I live in London now.”

“When’s your birthday?”

Gwil tries not to smile at the suspicion in her voice. Maybe he’s not the only person who’s a little unsure about this meeting. “November 24, 1905.” He waits for a moment. “Why, when’s yours?”

“June 27, 2027.” Then, Gwil can tell she’s taken the phone away from her ear as she yells, “Mum, I think it’s really him!”

Gwil laughs softly, and then there’s a rustling, and another voice comes on the line. “Hello?”

“Hi,” Gwil says.

“Is this Gwilym Lee?” 

“Yes, it is.”

“I’m Cerys Patel.”

“Pleasure, ma’am,” Gwil says.

“Do you think it’s a bit odd for a grown man to be ringing up teenage girls?”

“Yes, ma’am, I do,” Gwil says, shifting uncomfortably. “I— believe me, I do.” He holds his breath for a moment, wondering if she’s going to hang up, or tell him off, or threaten to call the police. None of it would surprise him. “The people…Joe, you spoke with him, he said he found an article about her project. That’s— what why we called. That’s all.”

“It was a family tree. I didn’t think she’d go that far back, but she was trying to find someone really interesting. Another girl in her class was bragging about being some— related to some duchess.”

Gwil nods, and then he frowns a bit, realization hitting him. His mouth feels dry all of a sudden, and his stomach twists. “So, she— you…you didn’t know about me until she did the research, then.”

“Well, I’d heard of you, of course. We all have. But no, I didn’t know.”

“Oh,” Gwil says. He looks around at the other three, who all look a bit sad now, and then he stands up, pacing around the living room. “Well, I’m sorry to have intruded then. I—”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I was…I wanted to meet someone in my family,” Gwil says. “Someone to talk to, about the people I knew. I just…” _I just want my family back_ , is what he thinks. “I— I’m sorry for having bothered you.”

“Gwil, no,” Rami says softly.

“Oh, she _has_ to meet you.”

“Sorry?” Gwil asks.

“Tiwl. She’s— not alone, of course.”

“God no,” Gwil says quickly.

“Her father and I will both be there. But no, ever since she did that project, she was so excited. And now— she’d really appreciate it. Your mate says you live in London?”

“Yes, I do,” Gwil says. “But I— I can come to you, if that’s easier.”

“We could meet in Brum. Pick a— a restaurant. Would that be alright? Public. During the _day_. I’m still not sure about taking my teenage daughter to meet a strange man who apparently found her on the Internet, but…are you really him?”

Gwil nods. “Yes, I— I am. Gwilym Alan Lee. Born 1905. My niece Mabyn, she was your great-grandmother.”

“I remember her.”

“You do?” Gwil asks, shocked.

“I do. Not much, she died when I was young, and didn’t live here, so we only saw her when she visited, but…I do remember her.”

Tears spring to Gwil’s eyes, and he takes a shaky breath. “Could— if you have any, could you bring photos? Of her. Of anyone. I— I’d really like to see what she looked like when she grew up.”

“Of course. Do you have your own phone now?”

Gwil nods, wiping at his face. “I do, yes,” he says, giving her the number.

“I have to figure out when we’re free. Tiwl’s on summer holidays now, so I’d like to do it before she goes back. My husband’s just out right now, but I’ll talk to him when he gets back. Maybe next weekend, or the weekend after?”

“Anytime, yes,” Gwil says. “I— I’m retired, so. Uh, would it be alright— I have a mate, who went on the Mercury with me. I was hoping that…he could come? Only if it’s alright with you.”

“Oh, I’m sure Tiwl will be chuffed to meet another one.”

Gwil smiles over at Rami, nodding. “Okay. Thank you. I— I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you. Bye.”

“Bye— oh, hold on a tick, here you go.”

“Hi, Gwil?”

“Hi, Tiwlip,” Gwil says.

“I just wanted to say bye before my mum hangs up.”

“Oh, thank you,” Gwil says. “Bye, Tiwlip.”

“Hopefully I’ll see you soon!”

“Yes, hopefully,” Gwil agrees softly.

“Okay, bye.”

Tiwlip hangs up, and Gwil takes the phone away from his ear. The other three are silent for a moment, until they all start talking at once.

“Gwil!” Rami says, getting up and running over to him, pulling him into a hug. “Oh my god, Gwil! What— what did she say, what were they like?”

“Well, her mum is worried I’m a pervert,” Gwil says. “But she says— she’s going to talk to her husband, and…we can meet in Brum. Maybe this weekend, or next.” He smiles down at him. “She remembers Mabyn.”

“Gwil,” Rami says, squeezing him tightly. “You— you talked to your family.”

Gwil nods, and then it sort of hits him all of a sudden that _yes_ , he did talk to his family. That— those people on the phone are related to him. Distantly by now, yes, but Cerys _knew_ his niece. She would have photos of her. His feels a bit shaky with the idea of it.

“Maybe sit,” Joe says, noticing that Gwil seems a bit off-balance. “Tell us what she said.”

Ben shifts on the sofa so that Gwil can sit next to him, and he reaches out, taking his hand. “What was she like?”

“I— I don’t know,” Gwil says. “We didn’t speak much, it was mostly her mum.” He reaches his hand up, absentmindedly scratching at his beard. Then he startles a bit. “Should I shave?” he asks suddenly.

“Uh,” Joe starts. “Why?”

“The photo, right?” Rami says.

Gwil nods. “I— they might not recognize me otherwise. Love?”

“Uh,” Ben looks at Gwil. “I don’t know how to say please don’t, but…please. Don’t.”

Joe laughs. “Ben’s got a thing for the beard!”

“Shut up, Joe,” Ben says, blushing red. “I just…it’s nice,” he says softly, shifting on the sofa.

“Well, I’ll be there,” Rami says. “My hair’s grown out a bit but they’ll certainly recognize me. And you don’t look _that_ different.” He smiles at Gwil. “You met your family,” he says.

“Well, not yet,” Gwil says. 

“Gwil, you did,” Rami says. “You— you spoke to them on the phone and everything!”

Gwil laughs a bit. “I’m glad to know you think so little of me,” he says. “Yes, I’ve made phone calls before.”

“Stop,” Rami says, “you know what I mean.”

“I do,” Gwil says. He sighs, looking around. “Thank you, Joe.”

“You’re welcome, big guy,” Joe says. “You know I just want to help.”

“I appreciate it,” Gwil says, before he turns to Ben, pulling him into a kiss.

Joe playfully squeals and Ben pulls back to give him the finger, before he kisses Gwil again. “What was that for?” he asks.

Gwil smiles at him. “Everything.”

Ben smiles and nods, resting against him for a moment. “You’re welcome,” he says softly.

“What did you mean, though,” Rami asks suddenly, “that she didn’t know about you?”

Gwil looks down at that, shrugging. “They— she didn’t know we were related, until Tiwlip did her project.”

“But how?” Rami asks. “They— they would have said.”

Gwil shrugs again. “I— I don’t know.” He bites down on his lip, thinking for a moment. “Maybe— maybe no one was waiting for me to reach out to them. Maybe no one knows we’re related.”

Ben looks down at that, bringing his thumb up to his mouth. He just puts the nail between his teeth for a moment and then drops his hand back down. “Well, that’s alright,” he says, and Gwil looks up at him. “You don’t need anyone else. You’ve got a niece named after a flower. Who— if you can only meet one, that sort of seems like the best one, doesn’t it?”

Gwil looks at Ben, sees his smile, and eventually nods. “Yeah, maybe,” he says.

“We should celebrate,” Joe says, but Gwil quickly shakes his head. 

“No, I— I don’t want to do that,” Gwil says. “I— I’m not even sure we’re going to meet. Please, can we just…”

“Right,” Rami says. “That’s alright. Uh, let’s…” He reaches up, scratching at the back of his head. “Uh…I don’t know! What do people do when they wait for this sort of thing?”

“Let’s just watch TV,” Joe says. “Uh, who wants a drink? Anybody? Snacks?”

“I’ll get something,” Ben says, pushing himself up, following Joe into the kitchen.

“So,” Joe says softly, “that went okay. Maybe?”

“Maybe,” Ben says. He frowns, leaning against the refrigerator. “I’m still worried, though.”

Joe shrugs. “I mean…at some point, something good has to happen to him, right? Other than you, I mean. And me.”

Ben smiles, rolling his eyes. “Are we sure that Gwil puts you in the _good_ column?”

“Hey,” Joe says, “Gwil loves me, alright? So let’s just…remember that.”

Ben nods, and pushes himself off the refrigerator so that Joe can actually open it. He looks down, and starts picking at his thumbnail.

“What’s wrong with you now?” Joe asks, glancing at him.

“Nothing,” Ben says, shaking his head. “Just…nothing. But— do you think it’ll really be alright?” he asks.

“Ben,” Joe says, “you can’t be worried about this now, okay? I mean, it took enough work to get _Gwil_ on board with this. Okay? It’ll be fine.” He looks at Ben, who’s still got an unsure look on his face, and sighs. “I…maybe this is just…”

“What?” Ben asks.

Joe shrugs. “I don’t know. Rami and I love our families, so maybe we’re…encouraging Gwil more than you, who…has had bad experiences.” He shifts uncomfortably on his feet. “You know?”

Ben looks at Joe for a moment, and then nods jerkily. “Ye— yeah,” he says, voice rough. “Maybe that’s it.” He grabs a couple drinks and then turns, walking out of the kitchen. 

Joe just groans, resting his head against the refrigerator door. That sounded terrible even as he was saying it.

\+ + + + +

“There’s something up with Ben.”

Rami looks over at Joe, a look of confusion on his face. “Sorry?”

“There’s just…” Joe shrugs. “I don’t know. He didn’t say anything, but I could tell.”

Rami just look at Joe, and then shrugs. “I didn’t notice anything off. I thought he seemed quite happy for Gwil. But…if he didn’t say anything, maybe you should just leave it alone.”

“You think?” Joe asks. “I— I think it’s something to do with his family.”

“Joe,” Rami says, voice a bit stern. “We already interfered enough with Gwil, and—”

“And look where it got him!” Joe says. “He’s going to meet his niece!”

“Ben doesn’t want our help though, Joe,” Rami says. “He doesn’t want to talk to his family, he doesn’t _need_ to talk to his family. Please don’t do something you’ll regret.”

“Oh my god,” Joe mutters, “what do you think I’m going to do? Just call his parents up and be like, _hey Angela, how you doing? Talked to your son lately? No, I mean the other one_.” He looks at Rami and scoffs. “I’m dumb but I’m not that dumb. I’m just saying. I know Ben pretty well by now, and I know something’s up.”

Rami just shrugs, shaking his head. “I’ll— I’ll keep an eye on him,” he says. “But it may just be that he’s nervous for Gwil, you know. Or sad. That doesn’t mean something happened.”

“I guess not,” Joe says softly. “But still, I—” He groans softly, and shakes his head. “Okay, I’ll leave it.”

“Thank you,” Rami says. “We’ll just— we’ll just see.” He reaches over, playing a bit with Joe’s hair, pushing it back from his forehead before leaning in to give him a kiss. “You’ve got work tomorrow,” he says softly, “go to sleep.”

Joe groans and wiggles further down onto the mattress, looking up at the ceiling. He lifts up his arm and then Rami snuggles against his side, smiling. “Goodnight,” he says.

“Night, Joe,” Rami says, and they both close their eyes. But now they both can’t stop thinking about Ben, as well as Gwil.

\+ + + + +

Cerys doesn’t contact him the next day, or the day after that. Now, Gwil understands _exactly_ why Rami checked the post multiple times a day when he had mailed Nelly and the others. His stomach is absolutely tied up in knots. He can barely eat, he’s so nervous. While Joe’s at work, he and Ben start helping get Rami ready for uni. They go to Imperial College, and walk around, trying to help Rami get a feel for the campus and where things are. They go to the bookshop and buy the textbooks he needs, and some books he doesn’t. Rami repeatedly asks Ben if he thinks the clothes he owns now are fine for uni, or if he should buy more.

Ben repeatedly tells him _yes_ , he dresses fine, but they end up going shopping anyway. 

Gwil’s there with them through it all, but he’s not really focusing. He feels terribly guilty about it; he knows how nervous Rami is, and how important this is to him. And it’s important to Gwil too, he’s so proud of Rami for going to back for his MSc, but he _really_ can’t focus on the choice of jumper colours right now. He thinks though, thankfully, that both Rami and Ben know that, and they try not to engage him and overwhelm him too much. They know it would just be worse to leave him at home alone with his thoughts.

“The course director wants to meet me,” Rami says, when they take a break for lunch. He sounds excited and nervous at the same time.

“Yeah?” Ben asks, taking a bit of his salad. “That’s alright then, isn’t it?”

Rami nods, and then pauses, and then shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says. “I…what if he doesn’t like me?”

Ben smiles. “I don’t think that’s why he wants to meet you, Rami. It’s—”

“I know why it is,” Rami says, picking at his sandwich. “He wants me to feel normal, and fit in.”

“Yeah,” Ben says, a bit unsure. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

“What if I get there and they— introduce me?” Rami asks. “Like I sit down and the professor says, oh, here’s Rami Malek, he’s over a hundred years old.”

Ben brings his fist up to his mouth, trying not to laugh. “I— I don’t think that’s…” He looks over at Gwil, who’s got his straw in his mouth, but he’s not drinking anything. “You will have to introduce yourself,” he says, looking back at Rami. “Your name, where you’re from, hobbies or something. An interesting fact.” He looks back at Gwil. “Did you make them do that sort of thing?” he asks.

“Hmm?” Gwil asks, dropping the straw from his mouth. “Oh, uh, sort of.” Ben and Rami look at him, waiting for a response. “Favourite plant,” he says softly, and Ben and Rami both grin.

“Well,” Ben says, looking at Rami. “If Gwil asked about favourite plants, then I’m guessing aeronautical engineering will ask about your favourite…” He trails off, trying to think. “Erm…type of flying machine?” he says, and then he grins at Rami.

“Oh, well,” Rami says, “I guess I’ll have to think about that.”

“Oddly enough, not planes,” Ben says. He gently clears his throat, taking another bite of his salad, looking back at Gwil. He reaches out, his hand on Gwil’s knee, and Gwil jumps a bit in surprise.

“Sorry,” Gwil says, picking up his burger. “I— uh.”

“It’s alright,” Ben says, “just making sure you’re still in there.”

Gwil nods, and looks at Rami, who gives him a comforting smile, and Gwil takes a bite of his burger. He’s still chewing it when his phone goes off, and he fumbles a bit for it. 

“Okay,” Ben says, reaching out to Gwil again, “just—”

Gwil grabs his phone and looks at it, sighing. “It’s a text,” he says.

“From Cerys?” Rami asks.

Gwil opens it, and then a moment later, he nods. “I— yes,” he says. He looks up at Ben and Rami, and lets out a deep breath. “Um, this— Saturday. Saturday, are we—” He looks over at Ben. “Are we doing anything on Saturday?” he asks.

“Uh…” Ben trails off, blinking a couple times. He shakes his head. “No,” he says, “not that I know of.” He doesn't sound sure, though.

Gwil frowns a bit, but then looks over at Rami. “Are you free?” he asks.

“Yes, of course,” Rami says eagerly.

“Okay,” Gwil says, “I’ll— I’ll message her back.” He slowly and carefully types out his response, and hits send. He looks up at them again, breathing a sigh of relief. “There’s a restaurant near the train station, she said.”

“That’s lovely, Gwil,” Rami says, smiling at him.

“Yeah, that’s great,” Ben says quietly, taking a bite of his salad. He looks up, giving Gwil a quick smile, and then looks back down. 

“What’s the restaurant?” Rami asks, while keeping an eye on Ben. “Did she say?”

“Uh, Bonehead,” Gwil says. “She says Tiwlip and her husband really like it, so.”

Rami shrugs. “Never heard of it, but that’s alright. I— I’ll eat anything.”

“Are you sure I shouldn't ask if all four of us can come, love?” Gwil asks, looking at Ben. “It— they might understand.”

“No,” Ben says, “that’s alright. It’s— it’ll be enough already without me and Joe hanging around. I promise, it’ll be fine.”

“Do you still want to come?” Gwil asks. “To Brum? Or you and Joe can just wait at home, I— whatever you’d like, love.”

“I…” Ben nods. “No, that’s— yeah, Joe and I can just get lunch somewhere else, meet back at the train station.” He gives Gwil a quick smile. “I’ll get our tickets.”

“You don’t have to, love,” Gwil says softly, but Ben just shakes his head.

“No, it’s fine,” Ben assures him. “When we get home, I’ll buy them.”

“Okay,” Gwil says. He looks over at Rami, who seems as unsure as Gwil feels, but he doesn’t push the issue any further. “I’m going to meet my family this weekend,” he says, and he slowly smiles.

“You are,” Rami says. “Gosh, can I call Joe? And tell him?”

“Yes, of course,” Gwil says, laughing a bit, and Rami eagerly takes out his phone. As Rami speaks to Joe, Gwil shifts in his seat, looking over at Ben. “What’s wrong, love?” he asks quietly.

“Nothing,” Ben says. “I’m really happy for you. Your family, I— that’s so lovely.” He leans up, giving Gwil a kiss on the cheek, and then goes back to his food.

Gwil looks over at Rami, who’s excitedly telling Joe about Bonehead, even though he has no idea what it is, and just reaches out, resting his hand on Ben’s back. He sighs, gently rubbing his hand between Ben’s shoulder blades. He can feel Ben relax a bit against him, but he still doesn’t know what’s wrong. He leans in, pressing a kiss to Ben’s shoulder, and then straightens back up a bit.

“Joe’s so happy!” Rami says, ending the phone call. “He’s really excited for you, Gwil.”

“Good, so am I,” Gwil says. He grins at Rami, but he’s now he's worried about Ben all of a sudden, and he doesn’t think that this is something he’ll be able to easily get out of him.

They finish eating, and gather Rami’s things, and take the tube back home. Rami waves them off, saying he’s going to put his new clothes away and try to get some of the reading done, but to come over later when Joe’s off work. Gwil and Ben walk to Ben’s flat, and even though Gwil’s legs are much longer, he feels like he can barely keep up with Ben right now. As soon as Ben unlocks the door and they step into the flat, Gwil reaches out to grab his hand. “You just asked me not to shut you out,” Gwil says, and Ben looks at Gwil, sighing.

“I— I know,” Ben says, slipping his hand out of Gwil’s grasp.

“Then what’s going on?” Gwil asks, taking off his trainers.

Ben reaches down, taking off his shoes as well. “I— it’s nothing,” he says, shaking his head. “I’m just tired. And— watching Rami get ready for uni, it makes me nervous. And jealous, I—” He sighs again, walking into the living room, dropping down onto the sofa. “That’s all.”

Gwil looks at Ben, and then walks over to him, carefully sitting down on the coffee table in front of him. “Ben,” he says, reaching out to take his hands. “I thought I was the one who was supposed to be nervous about meeting them.”

Ben shakes his head. “That’s not— I’m not nervous,” he says. “I’m happy for you, I said that.”

“Are you sure?” Gwil asks.

“Of course I am,” Ben says, sounding a bit offended. “I— they’re your family, I’m—”

“Because I also said that I would ask if you could come,” Gwil says.

“And I said no,” Ben says. “I— I still think all four of us going to meet her would just be a bit ridiculous, come on.”

“Then what?” Gwil asks. He cocks his head to the side a bit. “Ben, what?”

“It’s stupid,” Ben says, and Gwil shakes his head.

“It’s not,” Gwil says.

Ben swallows hard, and then reaches into his pocket, taking out his phone. “Here,” he says.

Gwil frowns, but takes the phone anyway. He knows Ben’s passcode and unlocks it. “What should I—”

“Messages,” Ben says. 

Immediately, Gwil remembers the notification Ben got on his phone a few days earlier. “Alright,” he says, clicking on the icon. Most of them are just some combination of the four of them— Ben’s conversation with Joe, his one with him, the one with Rami, one with all four, and then three different groups of three. There’s a message from someone he doesn’t recognize though, and he looks up. “Sam?” he asks.

Ben nods. “Old schoolmate,” he says. “From Sherborne.”

“Yeah?” Gwil asks. “What’s—”

“Just read it, Gwil,” Ben says, sounding tired.

Gwil opens the message, reading it to himself. _Hey mate, long time no talk but I heard about your brother! Tell him congratulations from me and mine when you see him! Let me know when the big day is._ Gwil swallows hard, looking up at Ben. “He’s—”

“Engaged, apparently,” Ben says. “Not that I would know.”

“Right,” Gwil says softly. He sighs, looking back at the phone. “Did you—” He scrolls, looking at Ben’s response, a short thank you that manages to avoid the awkward fact that Ben’s own brother is engaged and he didn’t know about it. “Well,” Gwil says softly, handing the phone back to Ben.

“I just—” Ben groans in frustration, shaking his head. “It’s like, I don’t care, because they never did anything for me anyway, but on the other hand, I—”

“They’re your family, love,” Gwil says. “It’s okay that it hurts, it’s alright to be upset.”

“I don’t _want_ to be upset,” Ben says. “That’s the point, I don’t _want_ it to hurt.”

“Well, I…it’s alright to care,” Gwil says, and Ben just groans again. “Okay, I’m sorry.”

“I just—” Ben shakes his head. “Do you get how fucking stupid I feel?”

“About what?” Gwil asks.

“About everything!” Ben exclaims. “That— that Michael’s engaged, and I don’t know. Not only do I not know, but apparently, everyone back home does.” He puts his thumb up to his mouth, then immediately takes it away. “I— Michael and Sam aren’t even mates, for Christ’s sake!” 

Gwil swallows hard, and then nods. “That’s not— that’s not your fault, love,” he says. “There’s nothing to feel stupid about, they— you’re not close to your brother, that’s alright.”

“It’s not,” Ben says. “Okay? I— fucking hell, Joe’s sister is going to have a _baby_ for them.”

“Well—” Gwil’s about to correct him, and then decides not to.

“Rami, he’s— he’s got Nelly, and Adriana, and— and then he’ll have a baby too!”

Gwil’s pretty sure that Ben isn’t implying that he now wants a child as well, but he decides not to ask about that either.

“And now you too,” Ben says, gesturing towards him as his voice breaks, “I— it’s stupid.”

“Love,” Gwil says softly, and he pushes himself up off the coffee table, sitting next to Ben on the sofa, pulling him in.

“I’m not upset,” Ben says, “I— I’m not asking you not to meet them, I _want_ you to meet them, so badly, I— that’s not this.” He sighs, wiping at his face. “You’re going to meet them,” he says softly, and Gwil nods, pressing a kiss to Ben’s temple. He sniffles loudly. “And I’m so happy you’re going to meet them.”

Gwil nods, and he rests against Ben, holding him close. “I know, love,” he says softly.

“I just…why—” Ben’s voice breaks again and he reaches up, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. “Why does everyone else get a family but me?” His shoulders start to shake, and Gwil pulls him in even closer, gently shushing him, pushing his fingers through his hair. Ben cries for a couple minutes, and then pulls back, taking a deep breath, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he says softly.

“Don’t be,” Gwil says. “I— there’s nothing wrong.”

“I’m ruining it,” Ben says. “You’ve been waiting to meet your family for so long and now I can’t stop crying.”

“That’s alright,” Gwil says. “That’s just…we like to cry, you and I, that’s all.” Ben chuckles sadly, and wipes at his face again, groaning a bit. “You know, if Rami or Joe heard you say that they’re not your family, I think they’d throw a fit.” Ben doesn’t say anything at that, and Gwil just leans in, giving him a kiss on his still-damp cheek. “I don’t know if I like hearing that I’m not your family either,” he says softly.

Ben blinks a couple times, sniffling. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I— you are,” he says. He smiles faintly. “And your ten nieces and nephews.”

Gwil laughs softly. “Yes, can’t forget them,” he says softly.

“Well, I still don’t actually know all their names, so,” Ben says, and Gwil laughs again.

“You know a couple,” Gwil says.

Ben smiles. “Yes, I know Gwilym,” he chuckles, “and Sieffre, and— Mabyn.”

“That’s a good start,” Gwil says.

“How old was Mabyn?” Ben asks. “When you left?”

“Young, just young,” Gwil says. “Less than a year old.”

“Oh, Gwil,” Ben says softly.

“No, it’s alright,” Gwil says. “I— I held her. I got to feed her. I made her laugh.” He blinks a couple times, then reaches up to wipe at his eyes. “She would never remember me, but I— I remember her. She was lovely.”

“Now you’re going to meet someone who knew her,” Ben says, and Gwil nods. “That’s— that’s really good, Gwil, I’m happy for you.”

“I know you are,” Gwil says. “Thank you. I— I wish I could fix things for you, love.”

Ben shakes his head. “They’re not…I don’t think they can be fixed anymore.”

“That’s not true,” Gwil says, but Ben doesn’t say anything, so Gwil just sighs a bit, nodding. “We— we don’t have to go see Rami and Joe tonight, love.”

“No,” Ben says, “why not? Joe— well, Joe feels so left out when we do things without him.”

Gwil smiles faintly. “In a couple weeks, when Rami’s at uni, it’ll be just you and me together. All day, every day.”

Ben slowly grins. “That sounds awful,” he says, and Gwil pulls him in for a kiss.

“Absolutely terrible,” Gwil nods in agreement. “What will we do with all our time?” he asks teasingly. 

Ben laughs softly, and sniffles again. He rests against Gwil, reaching out to take his hand, twisting their fingers together, then absentmindedly picking at the fabric of Gwil’s trousers. “Can we not tell Joe and Rami about this?” he asks quietly.

“We don’t have to,” Gwil agrees, “but I don’t want you to be embarrassed.”

“I’m— I’m not,” Ben says. “I just…if I tell them, they’ll worry about me, and I— I want them to worry about you for a bit. I’ll be alright.”

“Alright,” Gwil says, pressing a kiss to Ben’s temple, feeling Ben relax against him. “Do you want a drink?” he asks.

Ben frowns, looking over at him. “Erm, no,” he says, and then he laughs. “I don’t— that’s fine.”

“Do you want a shower?” Gwil asks.

Ben shrugs. “I don’t— maybe,” he says.

“Do you want a shag?” Gwil asks softly, and Ben bursts into laughter.

“I— what?” he asks. “A drink, a shower, or a shag?”

“That’s what’s on offer,” Gwil says, grinning at him, “that’s all I’ve got.”

“Bloody hell,” Ben says, starting to laugh again. “That’s—” He laughs some more, and Gwil laughs a bit with him. “I— god, Gwil,” he says, reaching up to wipe at his eyes. “I— not right now, no,” he says. “Maybe later.”

“Alright,” Gwil says. “What do you want to until we go back over there?” 

Ben thinks for a moment, and then looks at Gwil, resting against him. “I don't know," he says softly. "We're both so boring, maybe I will take that shag." He winks at Gwil and then starts to laugh loudly when Gwil leans in, starting to kiss Ben's neck.

\+ + + + +

“I don’t know,” Gwil says, and Rami sighs, taking his hand.

“Yes, you do, Gwil,” Rami says. “Come on.”

Gwil stops, looking back at Ben and Joe, who are a few feet behind them, chatting. “Well, I just—”

“Gwil, dude, come on,” Joe says. “Nope.”

“I can’t,” Gwil says. He looks at Ben. “Love.”

Ben laughs a bit. “What?” he asks. “You just— I’m not going to give you permission to not go, Gwil. Don’t look at me.”

“Exactly,” Joe says. “Ben’s on my side, I don’t care how good in bed you are.”

“Gwil,” Rami says, gentle but stern, “we’re already here, so if you were going to back out, it should have been while we were still in London and had a chance to cancel. I can see the bloody restaurant from here, Gwil, so come on.”

Joe grins. “I love it when he’s bossy.”

Ben smiles and rolls his eyes. “We’re going to Bullring & Grand Central,” he says, looking at Gwil. “Just— if you need to leave, message us. But you and Rami will be alright. You handled outer space, you can handle a teenage girl.”

“That’s different,” Gwil says.

“Yeah,” Joe says. “The teenage girl should be easier.” 

“Come on, Gwil,” Rami says. “We’re going to be late if you don’t get a move on.” He starts pushing at him a bit.

Joe waves at them, and he and Ben start off in the other direction. “You got this! Gwil, seriously, you’re the man.”

“What does that mean?” Gwil asks, looking at Ben in desperation, but Ben just smiles and waves.

“I love you!” Ben calls as he turns, walking alongside Joe.

“Rami, I don’t know about this,” Gwil says.

“Yes, that’s becoming abundantly clear,” Rami says. “And I’m telling you, it will be alright.”

“You don’t know that,” Gwil says.

“Well, I do, actually,” Rami says. “It’s part of my charm.” He glances down at his watch. “Now come on. If you’re _late_ after not seeing your family for over a century, I— I won’t be happy, Gwil.”

They cross the street to the restaurant, and just as Rami’s about to open the door for him, Gwil stops him. “Do I at least look alright?” he asks, glancing down at his clothes.

Rami smiles up at him, nodding. “Of course you do,” he says. “You look as fit as ever.”

Gwil rolls his eyes, but he nods a couple times anyway. “Alright,” he says softly, “I— let’s go in.”

“Yeah?” Rami asks. Gwil nods. “Okay.” He opens the door for Gwil, following close behind him.

“Rami,” Gwil says quietly, looking down at him. “I— don’t know.”

Rami smiles up at him, reaching out to give his hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay,” he says. “I’m here for you.”

Gwil sighs, smiling back. “You always are,” he says.

“Come on,” Rami says. He walks over to the host, giving them a quick smile. “We’re meeting a couple mates here,” he says. "Patel?"

“Patel? Right this way.”

Rami follows after the host, and he glances back to make sure that Gwil is following after him. “It’s okay,” he says softly.

Gwil nods, nervously looking around. He would be wringing his hands together, but he’s carrying a bag in one of them, and he’s trying to not twist the handles around his fingers. He feels like he can’t breathe. He reaches up, rubbing at his throat. It’s alright, he tells himself. He and Ben spoke about it before they caught the train this morning: Gwil can message Ben at anytime, and Ben will be there. Gwil also spoke to his therapist about it: she assured him that Gwil can leave at anytime— it’s important to be polite, but Gwil’s mental health has to come first. He hopes it won’t come to _that_ , but he is definitely prepared to pop into the loo and give Ben a desperate phone call. He also knows that he will most likely cry. He understands why meeting in public was important, but he also knows that they’re going to draw some attention.

“Gwil?”

Gwil blinks a couple times, and he glances over at Rami, but Rami’s not the one who spoke.

“Are you Gwil?” the girl sitting at the table asks, and Gwil gently clears his throat, nodding. 

“Yes,” he says, “Gwil Lee.”

The girl grins at the woman with blonde hair sitting next to her, the woman Gwil assumes is Cerys, and then looks back up at him. “Hi!”

“Hi,” Gwil says, finally cracking a nervous smile. 

“I’m Tiwlip,” she says, giving him an eager wave, “and this is my mum, and my dad.”

The man at the table stands up, reaching out to take Gwil’s hand, shaking his hand. “Manish,” he says.

“Gwil,” he says, and then he gives Tiwlip a bit of a nervous smile when Manish shakes Rami's hand as well.

“I’m Rami,” he says.

“Rami Malek, from the Mercury!” Tiwlip says excitedly to Cerys, and Cerys smiles, reaches out to smooth down Tiwlip’s dark hair, before standing up, offering them both her hand. 

“Cerys,” she says, giving them both a smile, sitting back down. 

“Please, sit,” Manish says, gesturing towards their seats.

“Oh, thank you,” Gwil says softly. He sits down next to Cerys, and Rami next to Manish, looking at Tiwlip, who’s sitting between her parents. “Uh, this is for you,” he says, lifting the bag up, offering it across the table to Tiwlip.

“Can I?” she asks, glancing at her parents, who both nod. “Thank you,” she says, taking the bag. She opens the bag, reaching inside to take out a small photo album. She starts flipping through it, then looks up at Gwil and Rami, an impressed look on her face. “Is this from the Mercury?” she asks.

Gwil nods. “Yes, it is,” he says. “Photos we— well, _Rami_ mostly, took on Luyten, and on the ship.”

“This is brilliant, Dad, look,” she says, turning towards him.

Cerys smiles at Rami and Gwil. “He’s a bit more— spacey,” she says, and then laughs softly.

The server comes over, asking if they want anything to drink. Gwil glances around, thinking that a beer would be nice, but he’s not sure that’s appropriate for meeting a teenage relative. He ends up just ordering a Diet Coke, and Rami follows suit. 

“So,” Cerys says. She reaches over to Tiwlip, “maybe put that away for now, sweetheart.”

“Right, sorry,” Tiwlip says, closing the photo album, putting it back in the bag, and Cerys takes it, putting it by her purse. Tiwlip looks at Rami and Gwil, smiling. 

Gwil returns the smile, and then feels Rami gently kick his foot. “Uh, I want to say thank you, again,” he says, “for meeting me— us. I know that…well, it was probably an odd call to get.”

“Yes,” Cerys says, “to say the least. But your mate, uh— J—”

“Joe,” Rami says quickly, giving her a smile.

“He was nice,” Cerys says.

“He is,” Rami agrees, and Gwil glances over, seeing Rami absentmindedly touching his engagement ring.

“But you agree, it’s a bit…” Cerys pushes her hair behind her ear, glancing over at Tiwlip and Manish.

“Odd, yes,” Gwil says softly.

Manish shrugs, stretching out, his arm on the back of Tiwlip’s chair. “I think it’s sort of brilliant, really.”

Rami smiles at that, looking down at the table, trying not to laugh. The server comes back with their drinks, and they all take a nervous sip, trying to get comfortable.

“Did you, uh, help her, with the project?” Gwil asks after a moment, looking at Manish.

Manish nods. “I knew a lot more about my side,” he says, “which I thought for sure was going to be more interesting than hers, but, hey.” He shrugs. “What can you do, right?”

“What’s it like?” Tiwlip asks.

Gwil blinks a couple times. “Uh, which part?” he asks. “The— the space, or the…being back.”

“What was it like a hundred years ago?” Tiwlip asks.

“Oh,” Gwil says. “Uh, well.” He glances at Rami. “Well, different. It was— hard to compare, at the time we didn’t know any different. Certainly coming here was…adjusting to a lot of technology.” He gives them a bit of an awkward smile. “It was different, yes, no mobiles or computers, but a lot of it was the same. People are the same. But some things are better.”

The server comes back, and Gwil looks down at the menu quickly. It’s all some sort of chicken; wings, sandwich. He just picks a sandwich and a side without giving it much thought.

Rami picks up the menu. “What’s uh, which is the best sandwich here? We’ve never been.”

“Well, I get the veghead,” Manish says.

“Oh, that sounds good,” Rami nods, looking up at the server. "Me too."

Cerys and Tiwlip order, and then Tiwlip looks back at Gwil. “Do you still work for the IIS?” she asks.

Gwil shakes his head. “Uh, no, I retired a few months after we got back. Rami does, though.”

“I will,” Rami says. “I’m going back to uni to— upgrade, a bit. My MSc.”

“Dad’s a chemical engineer,” Tiwlip says.

“Oh!” Rami says. “That’s— I like that. I’m— aeronautics.”

“What do you do, Cerys?” Gwil asks.

“I work in a nursery,” she says.

“You studied plants, right?” Tiwlip asks.

Gwil nods. “I did, yes. Uh— I was the Mercury’s astrobotanist, but before that I was a professor in Cardiff.”

“Do you speak Welsh?” Tiwlip asks.

Gwil smiles. “A bit, yes. My mam spoke it a lot when I was young, but it’s been awhile. But I quite like your name.”

“Thank you,” Tiwilp says. “We don’t speak Welsh, but Mum liked it. Dad speaks Gujarati.”

“I try,” Manish.

“I speak Arabic,” Rami says eagerly, and then awkwardly sits back a bit in his seat.

Gwil glances over at Rami, and then takes a deep breath. He sort of wishes at least Joe were here right now, because at least he’d have some great icebreakers. There’s never awkward silence when Joe is around. He’s honestly about two seconds away from just apologizing for taking their time and leaving when Cerys speaks up.

“So,” she says, shifting in her seat. “You said you’re retired, what do you do now?”

“Not m— much,” Gwil says. “I’m still— I didn’t have a lot of interest, personally, in still working for the IIS, but being a professor isn’t exactly what I’d like to do either. So, uh, we live in London, and just—” He shrugs. “The cinema, museums, uh, that sort of thing. It’s a…quiet life, I suppose. But I like it."

“When you say _we_ ,” Cerys says, looking at Rami, “do you mean—” She waves her hand between them.

“No,” Rami says, “I live with my fiancé. Though Gwil and I did live together for a bit in Perth when we got back. That was just— that was still part of the program.”

“And I live alone,” Gwil says. “Though, I spend most of my time at Rami’s.”

“And the program, what was that?” Cerys asks. “On the phone, your mate mentioned it.”

“It was just to help us adjust,” Gwil says. “All of us on the Mercury, we were assigned a partner to sort of, uh…”

“Guide us,” Rami says, “answer our questions about history, and that sort of thing. Just to be someone we can talk to. And ours happened to be best mates, so. We all spent a lot of time together. Mine was Joe, the one you spoke to on the phone. So, we all lived in Perth, until—” Rami looks over at Gwil. “Until we were just ready to move to London,” he shrugs. 

Gwil looks down at the table, thinking that that’s a pretty simplistic way of describing it, but they certainly don’t need to know all about what really happened. “Do you…” He trails off awkwardly. “Uh, do you have a big family?” he asks Cerys.

“Not really, no,” she says. “I have an older sister, and a couple cousins on each side.”

“ _You_ have a big family,” Tiwlip says to Gwil. She reaches down, picking up her backpack, unzipping it once it’s on her lap. “This is my project,” she says, taking a few pages out.

“Oh,” Gwil says, straightening up a bit.

“So your dad is Tom, yeah?” Tiwlip says, and Gwil nods. “We could only go back to his dad, on that part of the tree.”

“Uh, Aneirin,” Gwil says. He swallows hard; he hadn’t thought much of his grandparents in awhile. 

“Yeah!” Tiwlip says happily. “Do you know his parents’ names? We couldn’t find it, I guess some of the records were lost in a fire or something.”

Gwil thinks for a moment; it’s been even longer since he thought about his great-grandparents. He never met them, only heard his father talk about them. “Uh, Huw,” he says. “And…I think…Enid.”

“Okay, thank you,” Tiwlip says. She makes a note on her phone. “So Aneirin, and then your dad, and then you and your brothers and sisters.” She looks over at him. “You didn’t have any kids?”

Gwil shakes his head. “No, I didn’t.”

“And you didn’t get married?”

Gwil hesitates for a moment. “No,” he says softly.

“We weren’t sure if we were just missing it or not,” Tiwlip says.

Gwil looks over at Rami, and he knows they’re both thinking the same thing. Rami hasn’t yet mentioned that Joe is his fiancé, and Gwil hasn’t brought up Ben. Just because most people are okay with it now, that doesn’t mean that _these_ people are okay with it. “No,” he says finally, “I— erm, I was in a relationship when I left, but obviously…” He brings his fist up to his mouth, coughing once. “So.”

“Maybe move on, sweetheart,” Cerys says softly.

Tiwlip looks down at the pages. “Oh,” she says. “Uh. So, I tried finding stuff about a lot of them, but I don’t think I did for all.”

“That’s alright,” Gwil says. “Anything, is— I just want to hear whatever you can tell me.”

“Mabyn was my great-great-grandmother,” Tiwlip says, and Gwil nods. “She was born in 1938 and died in 2011.”

Rami looks over at Gwil, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

“I don’t think she had much of a job,” Tiwlip says. “She got married in 1958 and had my grandmum the same year.” She looks up at him. “You know what I mean?”

Gwil grins at that, and Rami snorts, trying not to laugh. “I— I think I do, yes.”

“Well,” Cerys says, smiling a bit even as she rolls her eyes.

“But yeah,” Tiwlip says, “I don’t know. We couldn’t find a lot anyway, but I think she just had a couple kids and that was it. It sounds boring, but whatever.”

Cerys smiles faintly, reaching out to smooth down Tiwlip’s hair again. “It was a bit different back then, sweetheart.”

“Can he see your pictures now, Mum?” Tiwlip asks, trying to shrug Cerys off her.

“Yes, of course,” Cerys says. She reaches into her purse, taking out an envelope. “These are just copies of the couple photos we had at the house. Sorry it’s not more.”

“No, no,” Gwil says, shaking his head. “It’s— I don’t really expect— I mean, she’s been gone awhile, after all.”

“This one here is her and her husband,” Cerys says, showing him the photo. “She— well, it was taken after I was born, so she would’ve been in her late sixties, probably?”

“What’s his name?” Gwil asks, pointing to the man.

“Uh, Porter,” Cerys says.

Gwil nods, sitting back a bit, looking at the photo. It’s hard to say whether he would recognize this woman or not. Not as Mabyn, obviously not— the last he remembers of her, she barely had any hair and had the chubbiest, reddest cheeks imaginable. But does she look like Owain, or his wife? Does she look like Gwil’s parents at all? He doesn’t know. He shows the photo to Rami, who smiles a bit. 

“She…” Rami sighs softly, reaching out to the photo. “She grew up.”

“Yeah,” Gwil says, nodding.

“And this is her,” Cerys says, leaning forward with another photo. “Here. With her children, so a fair bit younger. I think—” She looks over at Tiwlip and Manish.

“It’s from the early ‘70s,” Manish says.

Gwil smiles at that. He can see the resemblance between Mabyn and her daughters, and maybe a hint of resemblance to Gladys, Mabyn’s mother. “That’s lovely,” he says.

“Keep it,” Cerys says, nodding. “Of course."

“Thank you,” Gwil says. He hands that photo to Rami as well. “I appreciate that. I— I don’t have much of my family anymore, so.”

“I mostly just researched Mabyn’s brother and sisters,” Tiwlip says. She shrugs. “Owain had the most kids, so I figured that was enough.”

“Just give it to him, popat,” Manish says, picking the report up, handing it over to Gwil. “It’s just a copy. You can read it on your own time. There are some smaller photos in there, that sort of stuff.”

“Oh, thank you,” Gwil says. He nods his appreciation, setting the report on his lap.

After a few moments, server brings their food, and they all settle in, distracting themselves with that for a few minutes, instead of trying to find something to talk about. 

“Why did you go?” Tiwlip asks.

Gwil’s eyes widen and he coughs a bit on his sandwich.

“Tiwlip,” Cerys says sternly.

“What?” Tiwlip asks. “They went to _space_ , that’s so cool! Why can’t I ask?”

“It’s not polite,” Manish says softly.

“I— I don’t mind, really,” Gwil says. “I left because…well, it’s a bit hard to explain, because…I don’t really think the world’s at war right now. But— we’d just lived through World War I, and it was becoming more and more obvious that war would happen again. I was—” He looks at Rami. “ _We_ were prepared to do what we could for our country. Well, our families, mostly. If I’m being honest.”

Rami nods his agreement, wiping at his mouth with a napkin. “And we—” He looks down for a moment. “We thought we’d be back,” he says softly.

Gwil catches the look of pity on Manish and Cerys’s faces; Tiwlip may still be too young to understand the gravity of it, the reality of what it would have to be like to leave in one year and come back a century later, but they seem to get it. “It’s the same reason people become soldiers, go to fight. It was just doing our part.” He gives Tiwlip a small smile. “That’s all.”

“Would you go to space for me, Dad?” Tiwlip asks, picking up a waffle fry.

Manish gives Rami and Gwil a bit of an awkward smile, then pulls her in, giving her a kiss on the top of her head, making her groan and try to pull away. “Then who would be around to bother you?” he asks.

Tiwlip rolls her eyes. “Mum,” she mutters, taking another fry.

Gwil grins, picking up his drink. He glances over at Rami, who’s smiling back at him. He looks down at the report, thinking that he and Ram can look over it together later, on the way back to London with Ben and Joe. For right now, he may as well get to know the people in front of him. “So, Tiwlip,” he says. “What sorts of things do you do for fun?”

“Horseback riding,” Tiwlip says.

“Oh, wow,” Gwil says. “That’s— you have a horse?”

Cerys shakes her head. “No, my sister’s husband— their family has a farm. Tiwlip rides whenever we visit.”

“I read a lot,” Tiwlip says, and Gwil nods. “I play flute.”

“Oh, lovely,” Gwil says. “Is music your favourite subject in school, or?”

Tiwlip shrugs. “I like history,” she says. “But I like science too.”

“What sort of work do you do, Manish?” Rami asks. “In chemical engineering?”

“I used to work for a pharmaceutical company,” Manish says, “when I first graduated. But, nowadays, I work for the government. Do environmental work. Alternative fuels, that sort of thing.”

“Oh, wow,” Rami says, taking a drink. “That’s impressive.”

Manish smiles proudly. “Thanks, mate,” he says. “I mean, not as impressive as being the first group of people in space, but I’ll take the compliment. Hear that, Cerys? He thinks I’m impressive.”

“Yes,” Cerys says, smiling and rolling her eyes at her husband, “I heard.” She picks up a fry, taking a bite. She chews, gesturing towards Rami. “So when’s the wedding?” she asks.

“Oh, about a year from now,” Rami says. “The fall, after I graduate.”

“Congratulations,” Cerys says. “How did you meet?” She pauses for a moment. “Sorry, it’s not that— I was just wondering where…well. You came from then, and now you’re here—”

“Mum,” Tiwlip groans, pulling away from her a bit.

“What!” Cerys says. “I’m sorry, I’m not saying— I’m just wondering how you meet people. After what you’ve gone through.”

“Not much better,” Manish murmurs, giving Rami a wink.

“We met through the program,” Rami says. “The one— my assigned partner.” He takes a drink, and then slowly looks back over at Cerys, remembering that he’d already told her that Joe was his assigned partner.

“Oh, the bloke on the telephone?” Cerys asks.

Rami bites down on his lip, looking over at Gwil with an unsure expression on his face, before slowing nodding. “Uh, yes,” he says softly. “Joe.”

Cerys smiles and shrugs, taking a drink. “Well, that’s convenient, I guess.”

Rami smiles, and nods. “Yes,” he agrees, “I didn’t have to look very hard. He was— well, technically, the first person here I met. If you count talking on the radio.”

“What about you, mate?” Manish asks, nodding towards Gwil. “You got anyone?”

Gwil nods, and then immediately takes a drink, trying to stall for time. “Yes, uh…”

“What’s her name?” Tiwlip asks eagerly.

“Oh,” Gwil says. “Uh. His name is Ben,” he says softly.

“Can I see a picture?” Tiwlip asks.

“Oh,” Gwil says, looking at Cerys and Manish, before nodding. “Sure, if you’d like. Here.” He takes out his phone, unlocking it, going to his photos and finding one. He hands the phone over to Tiwlip, then takes another drink, avoiding everyone’s eyes.

“Ben and Joe are quite close, actually,” Rami says. “They’ve known each other for awhile.”

Manish looks at Cerys, and slowly grins. “Uh, let me guess,” he says. “He was _your_ partner?”

“Mum, look at him,” Tiwlip says, showing the phone to Cerys. "He's so pretty."

“Uh, yes,” Gwil nods, looking at Manish. “He was.”

Cerys laughs a bit at that, and then takes the phone from Tiwlip, handing it back over to Gwil. “Well, take love where you can find it, I suppose,” she says.

“How did you two meet?” Rami asks.

“Just uni,” Cerys says.

Manish scoffs. “Don’t say it like, _just_ uni. Like, it was romantic!”

“Ugh,” Tiwlip says, shaking her head.

“It might have been romantic but it wasn’t—” Cerys gestures towards Gwil and Rami. “Coming home from space, romantic.”

Manish takes a drink, shrugging. “Whatever, I was into it.”

Gwil grins, and takes a bite of his burger. He looks over at Rami, who’s smiling as well. Really, he thinks, it hasn’t been all that bad.

\+ + + + +

Ben shifts his legs on Gwil’s lap, looking over the report. All four of them had gone over it on the train, and Gwil said that he’d make a copy for Rami to keep as well, but now at home, Ben’s curled up, reading the entire thing. He yawns a bit, rubbing at his eyes, snuggling against him, flipping to the next page. “I like this name here,” he says, lifting the report up to Gwil’s face.

Gwil looks at the page, smiling wide. One of the people on another branch of Cerys’s family tree, one that goes further back than Gwil’s, was named Preserved Fish. Tiwlip had written a small paragraph about him. “Yes, well, don’t show Joe,” he says. “He doesn’t need any terrible ideas.”

“Preserved Malek-Mazzello,” Ben says softly. He blinks a couple times. “That’s fucking terrible.”

Gwil laughs loudly at that. “It’s— well, you’re not wrong. God, I would not— nope. I veto that.”

Ben grins, and then bites down on his lip, scanning over the page. He flips to the next page, nodding slowly. He smiles, snuggling a bit closer to Gwil. “Sieffre was a maths professor,” he says. “That’s alright, isn’t it?”

Gwil smiles, lifting up one of Ben’s hands to give it a kiss. “It’s brilliant,” he says softly.

“And Meinwen was a bank teller,” Ben says. “That’s a lovely job, that.”

Gwil snorts at that. “You would hate talking to that many people, love.”

Ben shrugs. “Yeah, but you get to sit at a desk all day,” he says. “That’s alright.” He looks at the next page. “How do you pronounce this again?”

Gwil looks down at the page, pushing up his glasses. “Heledd,” Gwil says, the two D’s making a ‘th’ sound at the end. 

“That’s pretty,” Ben says softly. He looks at the small photo on the page of all four of Owain’s children: Mabyn and Meinwen with blonde hair, Sieffre and Heledd with dark. “Says here she arranged flowers for the funeral home her husband owned.”

Gwil smiles, nodding slowly. “Maybe that’s what I’ll end up doing too.”

Ben grins, pushing himself up a bit. “Is that your way of saying you want me to buy a funeral home?” he asks.

Gwil shrugs. “Sure, if you’d like.”

Ben makes a quiet noise. He keeps reading, settled against Gwil, Gwil slowly rubbing small circles on Ben’s ankle. “Heledd’s husband died,” he says.

Gwil nods. “I think they all did, in the end,” he says.

“Oh god,” Ben says suddenly. “The funeral home was in their house? No offence, but it’s like the start of a horror film.”

Gwil smiles, and reaches out, taking the report out of Ben’s hands. “Alright, maybe that’s enough for tonight,” he says. “I don’t need you waking me up with your nightmares.”

“No, come on,” Ben says, stretching out, trying to grab the pages back. “I want to keep reading. I want to keep hearing about them.”

“Well, I can tell you about them,” Gwil says, leaning forward to set the report down on the coffee table.

Ben smiles, reaching to gently run his fingers over Gwil’s beard. “That’s alright?” he asks. “Talking about them?”

Gwil blinks a couple times, and then nods. “Uh, sure,” he says. “I think so. I can try.” Ben pushes himself up to give Gwil a quick kiss, then settles back down. “What do you want to do know?” Gwil asks.

Ben shrugs, reaching out to grasp onto Gwil’s hand. “Anything you want to tell me. What they were like.”

“Well, they were mostly young,” Gwil says, “I— not much of a personality on a baby.”

“I don’t mind,” Ben says. He stretches out a bit, and then looks up at him. “If they’re my family, I ought to know about them.”

Gwil smiles at him. “I suppose that’s true,” he says. He settles back. “What order shall we go in?”

Ben shrugs. “Oldest to youngest?”

“Alright,” Gwil says. “The oldest was Megan.”

“And whose daughter was she?” Ben asks.

“Geraint’s,” Gwil says.

“Okay,” Ben says, nodding. “Tell me about her.”

Gwil smiles down at him, leaning down to give him a kiss. “Alright,” he says softly. "I will."

**Author's Note:**

> • this is one that I started working on awhile ago, actually, and then took a break from, and went back to, and then reworked.  
> • I know Gwil learning about his family and talking about them was a thing that some people were looking forward to.  
> • so I really wanted it to go well, and I actually ended up quite liking it. I hope you all do as well!  
> • but now also please don't think Ben's family is being ignored, this will come up later! I finally decided on that.  
> • I really wanted to bring Felix back, as well as focus a bit more on the Gwil/Rami friendship again.  
> • also I just want to say that this is the last part of this story for this decade (!!!) but it is not done. still lots more to come.  
> • and thank you all to everybody who's read it and has supported it or shared their thoughts with me.  
> • I appreciate you all so much for making my 2019 MUCH better than it started out.  
> • Happy 2020!


End file.
